Playing catch up - another day in Guangzhou (by Drew)

I am REALLY thinking about changing the name of the blog to "Amy with Salem in a Sling." It would be truth in advertising. I could easily just post pics of Salem in Amy's sling, Salem in Amy's Baby Bjorn, or Salem playing on the bed and most of you would be happy. Plus, we're a day behind on blogging and tired enough to make it two days behind. But since so many of you have been checking in, I'm putting up a quick summary of Sunday. We'll post about today (Monday) sometime tomorrow.

Sunday was a holiday, and it was also a free day for us. We have loved spending time with the other families, but we all did our own things yesterday. It was nice to have some time, just the three of us, in this new place. We hung around and explored the hotel all morning. Well, I say that, but I have absolutely no recollection of yesterday morning. It must have been wonderful. We probably played on the bed and kept asking housekeeping to come back a little later. We do that a lot. Housekeeping is very attentive at the China Hotel, and they check in every two hours.

In the afternoon (or late morning - I really don't know), we went on a Long Explore of the park across the street. Once we made it through the crush of humanity (holidays = lots of people on the streets), we found the entrance to a fantastic park. The place is huge and full of all kinds of gardens, water and plant features, and some statues. What made it even more spectacular was the Chinese New Year decorations they were building as we walked through. My favorite was a very, very long dragon made of, well, china. These workers were meticulously putting these decorations together all over the park. We enjoyed feeling like observers in the middle of the culture instead of tourists peering in fro a distance, and it was great. We hiked up stairs and trails not exactly knowing what we would find but keeping a general sense of direction. Amy was carrying Salem, so I guess she wasn't happily climbing hundreds of steps. But she was a trooper. And she got her reward, too. At the high end of the park, we found a soccer stadium, a museum, and an ice cream vendor. Amy was very excited about one of those. But how did she respond to her excitement? She bought a green pea ice cream popsicle. She and Salem munched on it as we found our way back out of the park.

Sadly, we stopped just short of the goal of our hike - to see the Five Goats Statue. It proves to be very difficult to get directions when everyone in the park seems to speak another language. I bought two phrasebooks, Mandarin and Cantonese, and the day I could have used them was the day I didn't have them. D'oh. Maybe I'll stroll over there on Tuesday to see the magical goats of Guangzhou.

It was fun just looking for things to photograph, and while I didn't catch any really great shots, we did see a little boy in split pants walking around. Amy wanted that photographed. I did not, however, take a picture of another little boy TAKING ADVANTAGE of wearing split pants in public by squatting in the middle of the sidewalk and emptying his bladder. There's no way to take a picture of that without looking like a creep. Plus, the fact that he stayed in that position after he watered the walkway told me that #2 might be on the way soon. We left before it got worse.

Here's the super brief version of today - Amy's post and pics will go up tomorrow. We woke up, got the TB results for the older kids in our group (no TB - yay!), squeezed the shopping sponge dry on Shaiman Island, gawked at the Pearl Market (a 5 floor mall of pearls and such), visited a museum that was more of a classy and educational gift shop, ate Clif bars, got our final paperwork check for Tuesday's consulate appointment, and explored the area around the hotel. Salem loves people and seeing things, but she looked at me today and said "Daddy, please tell Mommy that I don't need any more shoes." At least, I think that's what she said. I'll let Amy weigh in tomorrow.

Pet or dinner?

Words to live by.

Love you all - thanks for checking in with us. The last couple of days seems like we're just cruising and shopping, but the main thing we are doing is spending time with Salem, building trust, learning her personality (delightful, it turns out), and becoming her parents. The bonding process seems to be going very well. Each day is more significant for me. Salem is my girl, and I have loved her from before I met her. I am so thankful to God for her, and I have felt blessed since the moment we met. But although adoption is a quick legal pronouncement and the burden of being Salem's father was placed on my shoulders at 2:30pm on December 26 after meeting her at 11am, the deepest implications aren't instant. It always takes some time for the notion of "this is my daughter" to completely saturate every part of you. I didn't realize how deep it had sunk into my heart until the last two days of doing nothing and shopping. We are ceasing to be a "new family by adoption" and beginning simply to be a family. I miss Jonathan and can't wait to pull him into the family portrait. At the same time, we couldn't have come as far as we have if we were also chasing the redhead around China. When I see Salem today, I feel and deeply know that she is my little girl. And this realization brings me to tears.

Those tears become even more poignant when I consider my own adoption by God the Father through Jesus Christ. It wasn't simply a legal transaction and arrangement. No, I am a child of the Father, and He looks on me with love, affection, and care. He didn't adopt me as a cute, welcome addition to the family. I wasn't just a stranger. I was a rebel, an enemy, and God made me His own. He loved me while yet a sinner. It is hard to overstate how deeply enriched my understanding of the Fatherhood of God has been by twice being an adoptive dad. I am so thankful.

Ok, now I'm free-typing and I need to be in bed. Early morning tomorrow and I'm the rooster. Love you all. Thanks for praying for us. We'll fill you in on travel plans so you can pray for our crazy Wednesday and looong crazy Thursday.

Day 9 Update from Amy in Guangzhou

Writers block has seemed to plague me for the past few days and even now I struggle to find the words to do justice to this experience. Fatigue and one little girl have kept me busy with sleep and play, and the added weight of her body attached to mine in the airport, plane, taxis, and shopping for seven hours has given me much room for grace when choosing between sleeping and typing. Today, I feel refreshed as the beds at the China hotel are steps ahead of the Beijing and Nanchang board-like mattresses. The first night as I sunk into the pillowtop, I barely had enough time to pull my book to reading position as my entire self faded into a deep sleep. Salem slept in and we woke up slowly, finally meandering down to explore the new breakfast venue.

As before, we are well taken care of and have enjoyed meeting other adoptive families. Here, there are many more people to get to know. Everywhere we look there is a family coming or going, soothing crying babies and toddlers, feeding sleepy faces, or bundled up for the day of sightseeing or appointments. After breakfast we met Wenxi (Wen-she) in the lobby with the four other Bethany families and squeezed into a small van ready to transport us to "the island" for our children's medical exams and a day of exploring.

Upon crossing the bridge, it felt as if we immediately traveled from big city China to a coastal colonial town much like Charleston, SC. Huge live oaks and palm trees line the streets of buildings built with columns and large verandas. English settlers created such a place years ago and it has stayed the same ever since. Of course, the locals have given it an Asian flare with statues and art in the courtyards. Asian brides lined the streets for portraits, a common sight here on the island. School children rushed from the buildings to meet their waiting families as the day let out. Local shops welcomed foreigners and street meat vendors attracted curiosity from westerners. Businessmen in suits rode by on the humblest of bicycles on their way home from a hard days work.

Occasionally we run into the families we shared meals with in Nanchang, but they are usually just waves and "how are yous?" with not much time for catch up. We did chat at the medical exams in between waiting and walking in and out of the exams rooms then they were swept away to their next adventure amongst their own adoption group. The examination waiting room was a hustle and bustle of families juggling crying children, medical paperwork and brief introductions then quick goodbyes. Salem did great, with an occasional cry from the probes stuck in her ears and mouth. We did have a little hiccup in the process. In Nanchang, we were supposed to be given a medical card (and small booklet that looks like a green passport). We did not have this document as they forgot to give it to us. Drew fingered through the paperwork folder that was now the thickness of a three ring binder, looking for the immunization records he knew they gave to us in her paperwork. After 10 minutes of searching, he found what we needed and gave it to Wenxi to have everything processed. We were cleared for our third and final test. Downside, Salem fell asleep in the intermission and had to be woken again to be examined. Thankfully she took it like a champ and fell asleep later in the carrier.

After the medical evaluations, our three families opted to forgo the ride back on the bus and stay on the island for lunch at Lucy's and shopping. The White Swan Hotel, the famous stay for adoption pioneers is soon to be under renovation. Also, the U.S. Consulate has moved off of the island, deterring new families from staying there. Still, we had to go inside and see the famous red couches and waterfall. We plan to return later this week for our red couch pictures after we acquire traditional Chinese wardrobes for our children. We strolled the island all afternoon and found great deals on shoes, a doll, jammies, Chinese dresses, New Year decorations for at home celebrations and a few special items for big brother back home. Catching a cab back to the hotel was tricky. No one seemed to want to stop. Finally we did, gave the hotel card to the driver and made it back within the estimated price. A few back roads and a driver who spoke no English made the trip a little sketchy, but before we knew it, the hotel emerged and we were back.

Salem is doing exceptionally well. Even among the healthy children, she seems to be adjusting better than some. For that we are grateful. It is difficult to watch other families struggling so much to bond with and to comfort their children who seem to be having a harder transition from the care they received before. Every day we think about Salem's foster mother and thank God for her. She must have been amazing! It is evident to us that even in such a poor community, Salem has been loved and nurtured so well and is able to receive and give love to us so easily. Her transition has been smoother than we expected. She is happily verbal, singing and cooing all the time, able to look us in the eyes, and receptive to our encouragement to try new things, whether eating or playing. She is a social child, both with children and adults, and often solicits smiles and interaction from passersby on the streets. While shopping, we met Audrey, a shop owner on the island. She invited us into her store like all the others have and welcomed us kindly. She clearly adored children as she was speaking and laughing with Salem. Salem was turned looking outward in her Bjorn (a much preferred position when not tired or sleeping) and immediately responded with laughs. I wondered in those moments how much she remembers or even misses her foster mother. She is constantly drawn to Asian faces and the sound of Asian voices in the air. I love that we have so much time here so that she can adjust to us while still around her culture. As we meandered through her store, Audrey said, "She has been in a foster home, hasn't she?" We responded, "Yes" wondering how she could tell. Was it the same things we recognized or something different? Then she said, "She has darker skin. Her foster mother probably took her to work in the fields and spent much time with her outside." She was right. Though we had not thought of this before, the tan she is wearing, the dirt found in her belly button and the notes given to us all indicate that she has loved being outside. It wasn't until at that moment that I realized the blessing this was. She had not been institutionalized. She has seen the sunshine and experienced real life with real people caring for her around the clock. Audrey could tell all of this just in the few minutes of observation and play. I'm sure she has seen many children come through her shop and is able to identify the conditions they came from simply by observing them. As I spend more time around other children here, I can understand how she does this.

As I watch other parents caring or their children who are struggling, I make a point to pray over them and intercede on their behalf. I know the Father is watching and caring for each of these children and has intimately chosen their families and has given the strength needed to these parents, whether they feel it or not. There have been three families in particularly who are in need of much prayer. The Mueller's, another Bethany family in our group, is experiencing sleepless nights and much crying. Chloe is also 11 months old and having a very difficult transition. The Hui family, as Drew shared last night, is facing unexpected challenges with their daughter, Bethany, who is blind and emotionally struggling. And the most grievous of all is a family we met on the elevator yesterday. The mother was carrying a tiny 6 month old with a cleft lip. The baby seemed to be very happy and doing well. It wasn't until right before the doors opened when she shared with us that the baby they had received a referral for and come to bring home, died before they arrived. This child was another child referred to them after their in country arrival. What a blessing it seemed to have the opportunity to bring a child home, yet I know even in the midst of that blessing they are grieving deeply for the death of their other child whom they never had the opportunity to meet or hold. We are lifting them up at each thought. Please join us as we pray for them.

We are enjoying our time here, soaking up all that we can to bring home for Salem. We think of home and look forward to seeing your faces and for you to see our little girl. We love you and miss you. More pictures and posts to come.

Day 9 - Getting to know Guangzhou

Hey folks. Long, long day. So tired. Can't stay up to watch the pork dumpling ball drop in Tienanmen Square at midnight. That's what they do here, right? Even though Chinese New Year won't arrive until late January, Folks here are more than happy to celebrate a new Roman calendar. Tomorrow begins a three day holiday around here.

Too tired to give the usual rundown of the day. Amy will send an update to this post tomorrow, so check back later for stories and tidbits. Until then, here are the pics and points of interest.

• Medical review and Passport pics. No problems. Lots and lots of families there.
• Walking around Shamian Island, former home of the US consulate. The medical center and friendly shops are still there.
• Shopping the Island - we walked from 10am to 5pm. Everything seems to be made in China around here.
• Very cooperative daughter took both naps in the sling today, very tired daddy looked for a sling in his size.
• New Years Dinner of Papa John's Pizza in the hotel courtyard. It was exactly the fancy dinner we needed.
• Bed. Sleep soon. The girls are already snoozing.

Looking forward to a day off tomorrow, some Skype in the morning and a walk in the park after Salem's morning nap. I think often of Jonathan and how I'd love to see these events through his eyes, and I'm thankful for Mom and Dad taking care of him while we are here. I look forward to telling Jonathan and Salem the stories of this week many years from now. As much as we cherish this uninterrupted time to bond with and learn our daughter, we are eager to be home. We also miss our Concord family. I am so happy that Terry Don Thomason, Ryan Thomason and David Ritterbush will be leading worship while I'm still here during the first week of January. I am jealous of those who will be there - I'd love to be led by these guys. I love each of these men and their passion for Christ. I hope Concord has a great New Year's morning.

One more highlight: Met an awesome family originally from China, now from Gaithersburg, MD and my favorite church north of the sweet tea line, Covenant Life Church. When we met and Amy asked how many kids he had, he said, "Wait a minute... we have six. Wow. We have six children!" They have adopted two more girls as of two weeks ago and are facing the growing struggle of raising a blind daughter who may be developmentally and mentally challenged as well. They feel the weakness of their capacity to care for her long term (as we all would) and we prayed for them to know God's strength and love for her, and for their encouragement and faith. Please pray for Sam, Betty, their whole family, and their newest daughters, Ruth and Bethany.

Happy New Year. When we wake up in the morning, we'll be well into 2012. It's going to be a good year. Check back later for a more flowery description of the day. xiè xie and zài jiàn.*

*Thank you and good bye. That's two of my seven Chinese words. I can also say hello, daddy, mommy, sister and brother. It doesn't make for a very helpful conversation. Needless to say, our "Chinese only" taxi driver was very frustrated today.

Day 8 - in transit to Guangzhou

Today was a travel day. We received Salem's Chinese passport and her final Hague Convention documents this morning, and that's all we needed to move on to Guangzhou. We said goodbye to our friendly hotel staff (they let us keep the bib from the Galactic Hotel) and our great Bethany field rep, Cabbeen. Cabbeen looks like a villain from a James Bond movie when he looks serious, but he's a great guy with a good sense of humor.

The airport was easy. I had to dump my thermos of hot water before clearing security, but not a problem! They have free boiling water dispensers in the airport. These folks take their tea and noodles seriously, and it makes bottle making easy. We got to visit with a family from New Mexico that we met in town. They'll be at another hotel in Guangzhou but we'd love to meet up again. Salem really enjoys their daughter Paige, though most 2 year olds don't have much interest in babies putting their hands on their faces.

The airplane ride was a little more difficult. We got a snapshot of what the return flight will be like. The seats on China Eastern are more snug than the ones we flew over in. When the cabin pressurized, Salem had a very hard time. She cried for about ten minutes, even screaming at one point, until she fell asleep in Amy's bundle. We were trying to think of anything to get her ears to pop, but she wouldn't take anything to eat or drink. Her exhaustion finally ended her discomfort, and she slept for over 45 minutes of the 90 minute flight. When we got on the ground, we reshuffled our bags and headed out. We were met by a nice lady with my name on a sign. She escorted us and our Pabst Blue Ribbon luggage cart to the road. Normally we are met by our Bethany rep, so when this lady put us in a van, closed the door without saying a word, and left, we were puzzled. As the van driver pulled away, we were left to assume two things. One, we guess this driver knows where we are going, because he speaks no English. We tried to throw him some conversation softballs, but he didn't swing once. Second, we assumed our airport hostess had another ride to wherever she's going. Sure enough, our driver took us right to the China Hotel Marriott.

The transition from Nanchang to Guangzhou is striking. Guangzhou is a much more diverse place, and they are more wired for westerners (and outsiders in general). At first glance, it appears to be a much wealthier city. Of course, our hotel is adoption central. Every week, dozens of folks are here because of the need to visit the US consulate as part of the adoption and immigration process. This week is no different. We've already met four other families in addition to our ragtag Bethany crew. We caught up with Mark & April and Loren & Michelle next door at McDonalds over an all too late dinner. Grilled Chicken sandwich: way below average. Chicken nuggets: better than home. The winning order goes to Amy. All our girls were beautiful and tired, but it was great to meet the newest family members of our newest friends. Everyone was so tired, I didn't bother taking a picture of the group. We'll have a chance to visit and catch up more tomorrow when we travel to get medical reviews and tests for the girls. Please pray that Salem, Quinn and Daifu roll with the punches with as much patience as possible.

Mark and April have bragged about the French toast on the breakfast bar, so we'll meet them downstairs in about seven hours. Salem is tucked into the hotel's pack and play and Amy is fast asleep. Maybe I'll share some of the interesting features of Chinese hotels tomorrow. I know that's the real reason you're reading this blog - obscure travel notes. But who am I kidding? You're here to see pics of Amy holding Salem, and I've got plenty of them. Good night, y'all.

Update!!! Did they switch our baby?

We started this day with a little girl who still complained when we gave her tummy time. She couldn't roll over, but she could spin around. During this afternoon's tummy session, Salem figured out how to roll over and did it with abandon all over the bed. She even attempted to crawl. She was elated, giggling and so proud of herself.
Well, when bedtime came, Salem was bouncing all over the walls. She was so excited about all her new tricks, she was giggling and moving all over the bed. She worked on crawling a bit more but never got it together. We were amazed by how far she's come. She was so wired, she didn't want her last bottle. We finally put her to bed and started packing. Suddenly, we looked up to see her STANDING IN HER CRIB! She was beaming ear to ear, dancing and rocking against the rails. You have got to be kidding me. We guess that the last three days are the first time she's had the opportunity to try these things (or the first time she was forced to do something besides cling to mama). After the last hour and a half of hard play, she is finally settling down a bit.When she finally does fall asleep, she's going to sleep like a rock!And when we get to Guangzhou, I'm going to have to lower the crib floor. I think somebody switched my spider monkey out for a barrel of monkeys!

Day 6 & 7 - Two days in Nanchang

The past two mornings have started with a warm bottle and Skype. When Salem awoke up yesterday around 6:00, we decided to surprise her Papa and Nana with an early evening skype at the house and this morning we introduced her to her cousins and Aunt Corie. Each morning Cabbeen has taken us to see the city. Yesterday, he arrived at 10:00 to take us to the Teng Wang Pavilion, a local attraction popular in Nanchang.It was originally build by a prince of the Tang dynasty in 653 and was rebuilt 29 times, each reflecting the current dynasty's style. Drew loves to learn and is always asking questions. Without his smartphone, he is at a loss for the Internet at the touch of a finger.When he wants to know information, his only source is poor Cabbeen.Drew has bombarded him with questions about all the places we go and we often get an "I don't know." Drew actually gave Cabbeen permission to say "I don't know" without feeling bad about it. So, like I expected, Drew spent the evening researching Nanchang. Before we left the Pavilion, we were offered motherly advice from a woman who was visiting with her grown daughters. The daughters stood back and laughed while their mother handed out gems like: "Feed her hot water after you give her the bottle. This will give her good health in cold weather." The reception everywhere we go has been generous and warm,but this was the first advice we've gotten. Still no clicking and chiding for underdressing Salem, so we're still good!

Today had a constant light rain, but it was pleasant enough to walk around with an umbrella. Cabbeen took us to People's Park, a huge park with ponds, older folks doing Tai Chi exercises, and a small amusement park. We walked around and enjoyed the landscaping, even though this is not the growing season here. We also went to a local porcelain shop where found a china tea set to use as a family and one day give to Salem.

The weather has been cold and Salem nose has been running constantly.With every sneeze comes a flood of nasties. She despises having her nose wiped, but has the cutes scrunchie face when she blows bubbles with her snot. It is hilarious! After two days of observing her pulling on and sticking her finger in her ears, we thought she might have an ear infection. Ana, the Brazilian concierge, has been so helpful to us and managed for us to see the hotel physician. We laughed to ourselves and exchanged smirks when she used a flashlight to shine in her ears from about 6 inches away. Apparently if we want to use one of those scope thingamjigs, we have to take a trip to the hospital. She said she was fine with only a low grade fever. Amoxicillin is waiting in our bags if it gets worse.

The first bath we gave her was within only minutes of meeting her and we were scrambling to her and everything else ready for our appointments. So we took our time and I got in the bath with mybathing suit so she would feel secure. Drew prepared a bubble bath which ended up being a great idea for modesty sake. Of course, wetook pictures and captured the event. She did cry but I believe she felt more secure and let me wash her hair in the midst of her sleepy eye rubbing, her head in my lap and her limbs wrapped tightly aroundmy leg...spider monkey:)

We noticed yesterday that her belly button had dirt encrusted in the grooves and tried to wipe it down to no avail. So, after her nap we attacked it with a wet Q-tip. She played with toy the entire time and never made a fuss. Now she has the cutest, squeaky clean umbilical stump, clean enough for baby belly kisses.

Salem is quite the Daddy's girl. She is smitten, and it goes both ways. I love to watch them interact, not to mention the sound of her sweet little girl cues and giggles. She is quickly gaining strength as we play with her and it becoming more brave to try new things.Today, she discovered that she could roll over and has found a newgame that gets praises and claps from mommy and daddy. She is beginning to use her arm strength, catching herself a few times today and once she pulled to a sitting position. It is amazing to watch her bravely try new things and feel so proud of herself when she accomplishes them. Once she got the hang of rolling over today, she rolled from side to side on the bed, laughing and awaiting our applause. She came close to crawling today, but plopped back down quickly. I guess all she needed was a few less layers of clothes. As everyone who has seen A Christmas Story knows, rolling over is impossible to do in a snow suit.

This afternoon, we decided to explore Nanchang solely for the reason of making it to Walmart. We have heard here that they are quite the experience, and though it was raining, we slapped Salem in the Bjorn and made our way through the streets to buy a Chinese rattle and whatever else seemed worthy enough to try. Amongst the Chinese New Year decorations and sea of faces looking and pointing, we found what we were looking for and more, including some that were quite unfortunate. While looking for toys and baby paraphernalia, Drew spotted a box of boy briefs with a young boy posing as he were an adult underwear model... creepy and definitely not age appropriate!In America it is common to see items hanging on the ends of aisles asa marketing technique to draw our eyes to the item and feel as if we must need to purchase it. Here, apparently rendered goose fat with head and bones intact is a hot item. Tanks of live fish and vats of strange meats surprised us at every turn. At one point, we saw what looked to be like a chicken dyed black lying on a bed of ice. I'm not sure what in the world would make that taste good, and I am not about to find out.

 

As we were making our way through the produce section, we were approached by an enthusiastic local fellow carrying half of a pair of Nun chucks (a chain and one... chuck). He was overly friendly, asking us where we were from (normal), asking if we knew what nun chucks were (a little weird), and telling us cheerfully that they were his greatest weapon (getting very weird). Don't get the wrong idea - he was the least threatening little guy you could imagine, so Drew joked with him for a while. Bruce has the traditional Chinese concept of personal space: none. Bruce (but not Bruce Lee, he pointed out)teaches English and very much wanted to hang out with us, inviting us to join his group in the park over the weekend. Bruce's English was very good with one exception: he doesn't understand vocabulary used for ending a conversation. He trailed us all the way through the store. After we finally broke away from him and laughed at our good fortune, he rejoined us at the checkout. Drew spoke in short sentences keeping his back to Bruce, really hoping he wasn't going to need to ask Bruce to leave us alone. Bruce snuck up on us one more time as we were leaving the store. Just before we created a distraction and took evasive maneuvers, we made a communication breakthrough. Bruce said goodbye, only willing to part by saying "I will see you when you return to Nanchang." I have no doubt he will find us if we ever return. Maybe he will have found his lost chuck by then.

We just had our last dinner in the Galactic Peace Hotel, which means we've had our last visit to the noodle bar. Every night, we've looked forward to the most delicious noodle soup with the most basic ingredients: warmed spaghetti noodles served in broth. At the bar, you add your own mix of soy sauce, chives, chopped and cooked local veggies, very hot sauce, sesame oil, peanuts, and ground pork. It is a delight every time, and we have promised ourselves to cook more Chinese food at home. Salem showed her skills and delight in eating rice from chopsticks tonight. She ate so much rice, she might not finish her bottle in a few minutes.
We are about to begin packing up the room to prepare for our flight to Guangzhou tomorrow afternoon. By Friday night, we hope to be back with our original trip buddies and a couple of other families. We've heard encouraging reports from them, and we are eager to meet their girls.Thank you for praying for us and for our family. One more round of appointments, exams, and paperwork awaits in Guangdong province. After that, we return home. Whew.

Pictures from Nanchang Day 3