Home at last!

(This post was started in the wee hours of the morning after being woken at 3:30 by a jet-lagged baby)

This morning, I am by myself. It is 6:32 am and I am blessed beyond measure. Salem came home last night. She is here, in Chattanooga, fully apart of our family. Suddenly it dawned on me that this long chapter of our lives is over. We have waited for so long and now it is here. All the waiting is in the past. What awaits? Adventure for sure. I am overwhelmed at the responsibility I feel as a mommy to two children now. I am sure the nervousness I feel is so common among mothers that me mentioning it seems cliché, but I do feel that deeply. I had to lay myself on the bed this morning and surrender my day to Him through tears, and outpouring of gratitude and laying down of fears. He ordained this and brought to fruition and He will give me everything I need to fulfill his purposes through me. Reminding myself of Jeremiah 29:11 brought tears to my eyes. So often I feel inadequate and ill-equipped as a parent. Hearing the Lord wash these words over me this morning as I reflected on their impact for my children was humbling. Yet, in the midst of that the Lord brought comfort. He has made me a part of His plan to bring hope to my children. He has given me a role in prospering their lives. Without His plan of adoption, both of my children would have no family. Thank you, Lord, for placing adoption on our hearts and choosing to build our family this way. It is an amazing adventure. I am struck by the love of my heavenly Father who adopted me, took me in as an heir, and gave me hope. Lord, today, help me to be Jesus to my children. Tomorrow, help me do it again, and when I wake up with every day that you choose to bless me, be Christ through me to them. Show them Your hope and the blessing of being its recipients. 

(Written this morning)

I am struck this morning by the kindness of my Heavenly Father to wake me early.  To feel thankfulness over this is comical to me as sleep has been a coveted activity around our house lately.  It seems that most are adjusting to the new way of life, time zone, and family dynamics.  Is is easy for me to wake early, expecting to hear footsteps or a cry from the room across the hall, unable to go back to sleep knowing that the day is closing in on me.  In those moments, I am tempted to fear or allow the overwhelming thoughts to haunt me.  This morning, I knew that lying there in my pool of anxiety would be detrimental to my day.  Gently the Lord coaxed me from my pillow and to His side.  I love waking before my family.  Why it is not a compulsion every day, I don't know.  The Lord never leaves me disappointed in the loss of sleep.  In contrast, I feel refreshed and am equipped with joy in my day.  I am deeply aware of my need for Him, of my need to be in His Word and to drink from the well of Life.  

I am finding joy in praying over my son today.  I am seeing the need for this more and more and my intentions are finally becoming action on my part.  I am praying for brokenness over him.  Not a brokenness of spirit or body, but of his strong will.  I am praying for the Spirit of God to invade his little hardened heart, and that the Lord will give me insight to see signs of softening.  In those moments, may I not simply sigh with relief and go about my day.  May I rejoice and speak life into his heart as the window God is creating opens that opportunity for him to respond and grab hold of the life God has for him. I am praying for wisdom to see this and the words to say that his little three year old heart will understand and receive.  He is precious and loved and is the sweetest big brother.  He loves Salem.  It is evident in the ways he kisses her, tries to pick her up, and protectively checks on her as she sleeps.  Adjusting to mommy and daddy being home and a new sister must be hard for him.  But he is embracing it, and we are seeing our family begin to take form into a normalcy that will never be the same as before. 

Finding Salem is much more than finally welcoming our daughter into our family. "Salem" means a peace through being made whole.  Our lives are about Jesus taken what has been broken and making us whole through the Life that He offers.  As I say goodbye to the season of waiting, I embrace the new season of finding wholeness through Christ in my life and fostering it in the lives of my family.  Though our adoption journey has come to an end, I will continue to write.  It has been through this blog that I have found a new love and outlet for creativity and documenting our lives here at the Scott house.   Thanks to all who have joined the journey.  We love you!